I'm gettin hot, yo!!

So, I joined a LA Fitness last night. I'd already made the decision to join before I walked in so I dont feel like Ive been "had" or anything. I'm very excited about it because it's such a nice gym, reminiscent of my days at the UNT rec center where I spent many a happy night with Kiran or other friends. I enjoy working out there because they've got tons of machines, and I can always find the one I want. Theyve also got a lap pool, a sauna, a free weights room, weight machines, and classes if I want. Plus... And I can't stress this enough: EYE CANDY. Holy lord almighty!! I feel like such a pig being in that place!! Those fit dudes pumping iron, running on those treadmills, watching their thick forearms and Disney prince biceps tense up when they do curls... DAAAAAAAYEM!!! I've never understood the draw of a "nice butt" until now.

Alrighty. That's enough of that. *Wipes drool off chin.*

So, Boy H actually called me the other day when he was on his way to watch a football game with his buddies. He seemed to enjoy himself. Haven't heard from him since. Thus far, no talk of meeting up yet. I may drop a hint next time he texts me.

Who even knows anymore??

So Chem 2 went out just as suddenly and mysteriously as he came in. So that's...done.

There's a dude from Match that I've been texting with. I forget where I am with match... Maybe Boy F? G?? Let's just call it an even H.

So, Boy H winked, and sent me an email, and we emailed back and forth for a few days. He seemed to be into me, so I told him to friend me on FB, and he did. So I checked out his pictures and stuff, which just reaffirmed what a great guy he is, and how much personality he has. So I sent him and email telling him I'm glad he found me, and I commented on a couple of his pictures(which showed he and I had more commonalities...). So, later that evening, I got a message back that said, "Usually i don't FB people unless I've met them in person, but you seem cool enough to at least be a good friend. Check ya later."

...???

What does that even mean? So I debated whether or not I should send him a message back, or assume he wasn't into me anymore or what. So, the next day(yes, I waited a day), and sent him a message on match that said, 'If it makes you uncomfortable, we can just message on match til you get to know me better, or you can call or text me if you'd prefer." So I gave him my number, and late last night, he freakin texted me! But it was just more friendly talk. So I'm like...why did you friend me on FB, AND text me if you only wanna be friends??? So, we texted for a while, him being slow on the uptake the whole time, (let me remind you, HE texted ME...). So I told him he can text me today if he wants.

So...nothing yet to report.

It's pathetic. This is my life now...

More frustrated than ever!!

December was a slow month for me, dating-wise. I went ahead and renewed my subscription to match.com for the extra 6-months. I also signed up for Christian Mingle, and Chemistry.com. Christian Mingle sucks, and it is really no different than any of the other dating sites. There are plenty of nasty d-bags on there too. Chemistry.com has been ok. I've talked with a few guys, none worth assigning a number... except one.

I went to Boston for the week between Christmas and New Years. No, I didn't meet anyone in Boston, if that's what you were thinking... I did flirt with a security guard on the Subway who had a thick Boston accent. If I thought it would go anywhere, I probably woulda stayed and talked with him. He was pretty cute. Anyway, so on New Years Eve, I got a message from a guy, we'll call him Chem 2, and we ended up texting all day long. Seriously. ALLLLLLL day long. Then, he called me at midnight, and we talked for the next three hours. I haven't had that kind of talking chemistry since...well...the boy that started it all, who is not to be named... Anway, he kept me company the rest of the trip, and we talked for at least 5 hours every single night the rest of the week! I don't even think Seth and I ever talked that long!! We might've...but I think that was a high school thing... Anyway, he lives 5 hours from me, and he's got kind of a unique...situation...going on that makes it even more complicated. Anyway, I went to see him at his place over the weekend, and it was the most awkward first date ever, but we got through it, and laughed about it later, so we kept talking. But since Monday, our conversations have gotten shorter and today...I got ONE text from him. I texted him a few times to see if he was ok, i got nothin...so I finally called him, left a message. He called me back but didn't leave a message. So, I decided, at this point, I'm going to wait on him to contact me. I don't understand people...

So, let this be a reminder to all you married people having problems: THIS is what I'M going through in order to have what YOU have. NEVER take it for granted.

Something New

So, since I broke up with Boy B, or as I refer to him now, "D-bag," I haven't seen much action on match.com. I've heard from Boy F(the one with two kids) a few times. But I don't get him.I hadn't heard from his AT ALL in like a month, and then all of a sudden, he texted me right before Thanksgiving. I thought he had texted the wrong person because his text sounded like it was in response to a question he'd been asked.But I don't know. I texted him back and he kept the conversation going for a bit. But then after he went to bed, I didn't hear from him for another week. Then, I texted with him on Monday night, and I haven't heard from him since! So...whatever. I'm getting bored with it.

I've been keeping my parents updated about how it's going, and they're surprisingly supportive of my decision to start internet-dating. I thought they'd be wary of it, but I think at this point, they just want to marry me off so bad they don't care WHERE i meet this dude. So, the day i went hunting with my dad, we were in the car together for a couple hours so we got to talking of course and I mentioned how much it had cost me to get on match, and he said that he'd pay for any other dating sites I wanted to sign up for. I thought that was interesting. So, I went out on a limb and signed on to Chemistry.com just because it's something new. And I've already met a new dude!

I shall call him Chem 1. We've been emailing back and forth since Tuesday, and on paper he's like...the perfect guy for me(but lots of dudes are on paper, so that doesn't really mean much). He's a foreign legal consultant, so he's super smart, hard-working, and mature. He's bi-lingual, he's a Christian who grew up Baptist, and has a solid walk with Christ. He has a close family, loves to travel, learn new things, and he's a classically trained guitar player! Thus far he's got LOTS of qualities I'm looking for. We just crossed the facebook barrier today and I checked him out. So far so good. And he talks a lot too, so he seems interested in me. But when I look at all his qualities, I almost think...he's too good for me... I don't know. I shouldn't think that. But he may find out I'm not all that smart, or that I'm not all that fit or as active as him. But thus far he SEEMS into me. So, hopefully we can keep getting to know each other. I'll keep this updated. Wish me luck!!

I know what I'm giving thanks for!

I'm on thanksgiving break right now. There are many things at this point that COULD bring me down, like the fact that it's the holidays so everyone is getting cuddly and insufferable and there are lots of movies out about couples getting together on christmas and kissing at midnight and all that. But luckily, there are way more things to be thankful for than there are to be bummed about(despite what the evening news would have us think...).I shall count my blessings one by one:
1. My loving supportive family.
2. Specifically my parents that would lay down in traffic for me if I needed it.
3. My precious nephew
4. My sweet little doggie Suzie buttons
5. That I have a job in THIS economy
6. That I have a job I LIKE and can take pride in
7. That I have a job that allows me to do other things I like such as travel, and take leisure time
8. That I get to perform
9. I'm in good health
10. I live in a nice apartment with a roommate that can stand me
11. I have a nice reliable car
12. I have talented children
13. I love my church
14. I love my church choir and director
15. I'm thankful that I have the means to get nice clothes and accessories for myself.
16. I'm thankful that I have several different interests that keep me busy
17. That there is a loving God looking out for me and thinking specifically of ME
18 That that God sent his son to die on a cross to save me from all my bad choices
19. That his son Jesus is with me all the time guiding my steps
20. I'm thankful that in good times, and even in times of grief, sadness, depression, etc, Jesus sits with me and comforts me

I'll stop there for now. I have a lot to be thankful for. So I'll try to constantly remind myself of these things and not let Satan remind me of the one thing always hanging over my head...

Boy B is a goner

So, it's over between me and Boy B. As it turns out...he's NOT the sweet respectful Christian man I thought he was. VERY much so... Even though we had had SEVERAL very open blunt conversations about the s-e-x word, and I made it very clear I am going to wait, he said he agreed and respected me more for it, even saying he feels better about this relationship than any others because we're holding each other accountable and making the relationship Christ-centered. Without going into too much detail...as it turns out...he was lying to get into my pants. Pathetic. That's like 18-yr-old high school crap!! He's a grown man and he can't keep it in his pants!!!

After that information came out about him, I shut it down real quick. I'm still so confused because ..."outside the bedroom" he was so sweet to me! He almost worshipped me! He was already planning things with me and talking about the future and everything. And I never took him as a man that had that little self-control. Absolutely pathetic.

Luckily, in my current emotional state I am VERY drawn to God and my family. If showing me that every other man is a douche is His way of romancing me, then it's God for the win!!

So anyway, here I am. Back to square one. I've only got one more month to go til my 6-month guarantee kicks in. I'm debating at this point whether I should take it. It's just six more months of non-husbands, awkward dates, sibling-listing, relationships you think will make it but only last 3 weeks because your boyfriend is a liar, in short...6 more months of failure. As loser-y as I feel at the moment, I can't imagine how I'll feel at the end of 6 more months of this...

But I do like free stuff...

Update

So, according to facebook, I've been "in a relationship" with Boy B for almost 2 weeks. It's weird though because even though God has given me what I "want," I don't feel like it's what I really "need." My head is constantly spinning with this guy wondering how he's feels about me, how I feel about him, if this will go anywhere, if he could actually be "the one," and so on. You know...all those questions you ask yourself at the beginning of any relationship. It's been such a weird transition, and I blame being single for so long. I've gotten so used to being on my own time table, being in my own place, and just basically not having to think about anyone but myself.

He's such a great guy. He has so many wonderful qualities that ARE things that I'm looking for. He's a Christian(who is actually concerned with what GOD wants for his life...), he's got a master's degree, a good stable job, a nice family, he LOVES to travel and has been all over the world, and I suppose most importantly, he treats me so well. He really likes me and goes to great pains to make sure I'm ok, and to make sure I know he's thinking about me(which is a HUGE deal for me!!). He really is great. I just want him to be happy with me. But let's face it...I can be a PILL.