The Game Changer

I had a first date the other night that was so bad it inspired me to do two things: 1) Update my profile to include the phrase, "I want someone who is willing to open up their lives to make room for a new person," and 2) Look for new dating sites.

Yes. It was that bad. Wanna hear about it? I guess it's sort of a cautionary tale now.

So, we'd been having so much fun talking on the phone, so much so that I was actually thinking he was like...you know...something special. So i was so excited to get to meet up with him on Wed night. We decided to do something casual so he suggested going to a coffee shop. We both got there at the exact same time, and walked in together, which was quite pleasant. We walked up to the counter, he motioned for me to go on up and order. So, I ordered an iced tea, and I looked at him and he just asked for an ice water(weird, but whatever). So, I wait for him to get out his wallet to out down the $2.14 that would've avoided the awkwardness that befell the rest of the evening, but he didn't. After a few seconds, he looked at me and said these words: "So, you gonna pay the guy, or what?"

Really???
I felt the redness of embarrassment and heat of anger well up in my face. I stared into his face wondering if he was joking or not. When it became apparent he wasn't, I slowly reached into my purse keeping my eyes fixed on him the whole time waiting for him to say, "Ha ha, I gotcha!" But he stared at me while I pulled out my debit card, handed it to the cashier, then he proceeded to poke fun at the fact that I didn't have enough cash to pay $2.14 for my drink. Everything in me wanted to pay, grab my drink, and walk out. I would've felt so much stronger. But sadly, I'm single, I'm running out of options, so...I stayed and said to myself, "ok....strike one."

We went to sit at a table, and when we sat down, I asked him if we could go sit outside because I knew my voice would carry, especially in a quite place like a coffee shop. It may as well have been a library. But he said, "Can I just cool down for a sec?" (whatever that means...) So I agreed. I waited for him to bring the conversation. When he finally did, we fell into talking, and after a few minutes he started getting quieter and quieter so i started to lean forward so i could hear him better, and he asked, "Are you having a hard time hearing me?" So I laughed and said yes. His reply?? "I was just trying to bring the volume down hoping you'd follow my lead. You're just talking so loud!" That was the end of my niceness. I popped back, "That's why I asked to go outside!! I KNOW my voice is loud, but you insisted we sit inside!" So he laughed and we went outside. Again, why I stayed? I'm pathetic. Strike two.

So we talk some more, but this guy had just insulted me twice thus far on our FIRST date so my patience had worn thin. I stopped trying to hold back my love of argument. We were ok when we were discussing movies, books, and the typical pop culture topics. But he got on a new topic. He told me he was reading through my livejournals (which he had already told me. THIS wasn't the insulting part), and he said he thought they were kinda whiny and immature(which was also not the insulting part...). So, i asked him what he thought. His reply?
"I guess I had hoped you had matured since then."

And after that I shut it down. Strike three. I told him I wanted to go, so i started walking to my car. We argued all the way back. He accused me of being a drama queen, and I reminded him, it's not ME being a drama queen. It's HIM being an unapologetic asshole. But guys like that will always believe it's not THEM. It's everyone else.

I told this story to a round table of opera guys before rehearsal last night and they all laughed their asses off when I told them the first line, "So, you gonna pay the guy or what?" None of them knew what to say. At least they all agreed and reaffirmed the fact that since HE'S the dude, HE should've paid. But, kids in the audience, I hope you understand that it's not the money that's the issue. The issue is that in the first five minutes he made it abundantly clear that he was not out to impress me, nor did he have any intention to try. Pathetic.

So, after I told them the rest of the story, my friend Paul told me about a different kind of site. It's what they call a "niche" dating site. It's called, get ready for it, Geek 2 Geek. I thought that was just about the most brilliant thing I'd ever heard, so I got online, made a profile, and here's hoping I start meeting a new kind of man. Maybe one that can actually pony up the dough to buy a lady a drink.

WTP????!

"So, you gonna pay the guy or what?"

...I don't even know what to say to that...

A new day dawns

So there's a new boy. This one's...different...

No news from the front

So why am I posting, you ask? I suppose just to let cyber space know I'm still alive?

Can I just say... To those of you that are married: I don't care what troubles you go through in your married life. The point is, if you've been lucky enough to turn the corner one random day and stumble into the person you're going to be with the rest of your life, you need to thank your lucky stars every time you wake up and the person is still there. No matter what you deal with on a daily basis, whether it's raising kids, going to work, family troubles, whatever, you've ALWAYS got someone beside you. ALWAYS. Even if they're not particularly helpful, they're at least there to walk beside you in the valleys of life.

Even more unfair are those incredibly blessed beyond belief that have been married, DIVORCED, and married AGAIN!!! What is UP with that?? It seems to me that to men its more attractive to be divorced at my age, than be my age never having been married, engaged, proposed to, or even thought of seriously as a wife for anyone. That hurts. It really does. My parents lied to me. Nothing they ever tried to teach about how to find a mate has proven to be effective in any way.

I just don't know what the answer is.

I'm gettin hot, yo!!

So, I joined a LA Fitness last night. I'd already made the decision to join before I walked in so I dont feel like Ive been "had" or anything. I'm very excited about it because it's such a nice gym, reminiscent of my days at the UNT rec center where I spent many a happy night with Kiran or other friends. I enjoy working out there because they've got tons of machines, and I can always find the one I want. Theyve also got a lap pool, a sauna, a free weights room, weight machines, and classes if I want. Plus... And I can't stress this enough: EYE CANDY. Holy lord almighty!! I feel like such a pig being in that place!! Those fit dudes pumping iron, running on those treadmills, watching their thick forearms and Disney prince biceps tense up when they do curls... DAAAAAAAYEM!!! I've never understood the draw of a "nice butt" until now.

Alrighty. That's enough of that. *Wipes drool off chin.*

So, Boy H actually called me the other day when he was on his way to watch a football game with his buddies. He seemed to enjoy himself. Haven't heard from him since. Thus far, no talk of meeting up yet. I may drop a hint next time he texts me.

Who even knows anymore??

So Chem 2 went out just as suddenly and mysteriously as he came in. So that's...done.

There's a dude from Match that I've been texting with. I forget where I am with match... Maybe Boy F? G?? Let's just call it an even H.

So, Boy H winked, and sent me an email, and we emailed back and forth for a few days. He seemed to be into me, so I told him to friend me on FB, and he did. So I checked out his pictures and stuff, which just reaffirmed what a great guy he is, and how much personality he has. So I sent him and email telling him I'm glad he found me, and I commented on a couple of his pictures(which showed he and I had more commonalities...). So, later that evening, I got a message back that said, "Usually i don't FB people unless I've met them in person, but you seem cool enough to at least be a good friend. Check ya later."

...???

What does that even mean? So I debated whether or not I should send him a message back, or assume he wasn't into me anymore or what. So, the next day(yes, I waited a day), and sent him a message on match that said, 'If it makes you uncomfortable, we can just message on match til you get to know me better, or you can call or text me if you'd prefer." So I gave him my number, and late last night, he freakin texted me! But it was just more friendly talk. So I'm like...why did you friend me on FB, AND text me if you only wanna be friends??? So, we texted for a while, him being slow on the uptake the whole time, (let me remind you, HE texted ME...). So I told him he can text me today if he wants.

So...nothing yet to report.

It's pathetic. This is my life now...

More frustrated than ever!!

December was a slow month for me, dating-wise. I went ahead and renewed my subscription to match.com for the extra 6-months. I also signed up for Christian Mingle, and Chemistry.com. Christian Mingle sucks, and it is really no different than any of the other dating sites. There are plenty of nasty d-bags on there too. Chemistry.com has been ok. I've talked with a few guys, none worth assigning a number... except one.

I went to Boston for the week between Christmas and New Years. No, I didn't meet anyone in Boston, if that's what you were thinking... I did flirt with a security guard on the Subway who had a thick Boston accent. If I thought it would go anywhere, I probably woulda stayed and talked with him. He was pretty cute. Anyway, so on New Years Eve, I got a message from a guy, we'll call him Chem 2, and we ended up texting all day long. Seriously. ALLLLLLL day long. Then, he called me at midnight, and we talked for the next three hours. I haven't had that kind of talking chemistry since...well...the boy that started it all, who is not to be named... Anway, he kept me company the rest of the trip, and we talked for at least 5 hours every single night the rest of the week! I don't even think Seth and I ever talked that long!! We might've...but I think that was a high school thing... Anyway, he lives 5 hours from me, and he's got kind of a unique...situation...going on that makes it even more complicated. Anyway, I went to see him at his place over the weekend, and it was the most awkward first date ever, but we got through it, and laughed about it later, so we kept talking. But since Monday, our conversations have gotten shorter and today...I got ONE text from him. I texted him a few times to see if he was ok, i got nothin...so I finally called him, left a message. He called me back but didn't leave a message. So, I decided, at this point, I'm going to wait on him to contact me. I don't understand people...

So, let this be a reminder to all you married people having problems: THIS is what I'M going through in order to have what YOU have. NEVER take it for granted.